


Lost and Found

by phoenixquest



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 18:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19156258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixquest/pseuds/phoenixquest
Summary: Annie has increasingly frequent nightmares of her husband stuck in the vault, never buried properly as he should've been. Nick wants to help, and Preston comes along too - so Nate can finally be laid to rest as he should.





	Lost and Found

Annie woke up with a start, sweating, to find Nick standing over her. If electronic eyes could look concerned, his glowing yellow ones did. She sat up abruptly.

“Alright, now?” Nick asked, his voice gentle. 

Annie gasped for a few moments, doing her best to catch her breath, unable to answer. She must’ve called out in her sleep; she’d done it before, and Nick – kind, caring Nick – was there to wake her.

“Fine, Nick,” Annie finally breathed, shaking her head to try and clear the sight of her husband’s body, lying in the cryopod. It didn’t work. “Fine.”

“Now, I wouldn’t call you a liar,” Nick said, and she swore she could hear a smirk in his voice, “but this is the third time in a week I’ve woken you up from one of those dreams.” 

Still breathing hard, Annie started to speak, to deny it… and the next thing she knew, she’d burst into tears, all-out sobbing. 

“Whoa, easy there,” Nick said, sounding even more worried now. She felt the bed dip beside her but barely registered it. 

The next thing she felt – and did register – was a warm hand on her shoulder. Unable to even think to do anything else, Annie leaned into the synth, clinging to him, and wasn’t even really surprised when his more human-like hand began to stroke her hair, the other gently holding her.

“It’s… Nate,” she choked out between sobs, unsure if Nick could even understand her, uncaring. “He’s… vault… stuck… not even… proper burial…” She broke off, unable to continue to form words. It was impossible to think about, to talk about, to dream about… but dream about it she did. They’d gotten more frequent. 

“I see,” Nick said softly, continuing to stroke her hair, giving the best comfort he knew how to give. “We could fix that, you know. The vault’s nearby, right?” Annie only cried harder, and he felt bad; he’d meant to help. He decided to keep quiet, unsure what else to say that might help and not wanting to upset her further.

Eventually, Annie began to calm down, and she registered that this was the closest she’d ever been to Nick. It was odd; he didn’t feel like a robot, though he didn’t exactly feel fully human, either. She couldn’t say how much she appreciated the comfort, though – synth or human or whatever, she hadn’t been held like this in months. Or a couple hundred years, depending how you measured, really. 

“Thank you,” Annie muttered with a sniffle, finally able to pull away a little. She saw Dogmeat sitting by the side of the bed, looking at her worriedly with his chin resting on the mattress. “It’s okay, boy. I’m alright,” she assured him croakily, patting his head. He didn’t seem convinced, but turned to lay down on the rug she’d put in the room for him nonetheless, keeping a watchful eye on her.

“Feel any better?” Nick asked, looking down at her with his ever-bright yellow eyes.

Annie scrubbed at her face, pulling away from him and sitting up on her own, and sighed, “Not really.” She took in a deep breath and sighed again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d…. lose it like that. I didn’t mean to be a bother – “ 

Nick cut her off with a shake of his head. “You’re not a bother. It’s not like you woke me,” he joked, and Annie managed a tiny smile. 

“I should be stronger,” she commented, wiping at her cheeks again and turning away from his piercing gaze. 

“You’re always stronger,” Nick snorted. “Even a synth can feel now and again.” Annie rolled her eyes at his humor, but didn’t comment. “And I apologize,” Nick added, patting her shoulder before removing his hand. “I only thought it might help, you know.”

“I know,” Annie murmured, staring at the bed. She couldn’t bring herself to look back at him, or anywhere else. “He just…” 

She trailed off, unsure what to even say. She slept in the room they’d slept in as husband and wife, in the house they’d bought together, in the room across the hall from where their tiny son had slept… everything was the same, but then, nothing was the same. How could she put that into words? How could she explain how the whole situation made her feel? How could anyone, anyone ever understand? It had been over two hundred years for the rest of them. For her, and only her, it had been months. And for her, she’d seen her husband shot – her child stolen from his arms – mere months ago. Unable to do anything at all. And he… he was still down there. Still lost in time in that vault, stuck in that cryopod, Not even buried like he deserved, in the military cemetery where he should be honored. Not that it was a place of honor anymore. No one even bothered to remember. Only one war mattered now, and it was the war for survival. 

“I want to bury him,” she said, suddenly determined, her voice strong. Nick looked at her in surprise, and she realized she’d been quiet for several minutes. “Sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I just – I want to do this. Now I know. It was a good suggestion, Nick. Thank you.” 

She knew she’d have to go retrieve his body first; that would be the hardest, she was sure. She hadn’t been into the vault since she escaped. But she knew she could do it. If nothing else, if she couldn’t find her son, if she couldn’t save her husband, if she couldn’t go back – she could lay her husband to rest properly.

“Alright,” Nick nodded. “You just let me know when – “

“Now,” Annie said, getting out of bed and reaching for her armored overpieces. “I’m doing this right now.”

“It isn’t even dawn,” Nick pointed out, though he sounded slightly amused; she was prone to quick decisions that had an immediacy to them, so he wasn’t surprised.

“I know,” she said, a determined set to her mouth. “I’m doing it right now.”

“Then I’ll come with you right now,” Nick said, standing up too. 

She turned to look at him, a little surprised.

“You don’t have to follow me for this,” she said slowly, as though confused. “I – I can handle it. You can – “

“What, sit and knit?” Nick grinned. “I want to help you,” he added, a softer note to his voice that she was starting to realize she only ever heard when he spoke to her. “I don’t want you do have to do this alone.” 

Annie was quiet for a few minutes, staring at him in shock. 

“Thank you,” she finally murmured, turning back to finish putting on her boots. “I… I appreciate that, Nick.”

They didn’t say anything else as Annie continued to get ready, Dogmeat watching her from his rug but not getting up. 

“It’s okay, boy,” she said, patting his head as she turned to leave. “You don’t have to come on this one – stay here and get some sleep.” He gave a quiet “boof” that sounded, to her ears, grateful, and she couldn’t contain a little chuckle. She’s sure Nate – and Shaun, for that matter – would’ve loved him.

“Probably not the best place for a dog,” Nick noted, following her out of the bedroom.

“No,” Annie agreed, heading through the house to the front door – the same, familiar route she’d followed every day, before the bombs fell and after. This time, though, it was Nick at her side, not Nate. It hurt.

They made their way through the pre-dawn light in Sanctuary, no one else really awake at this hour besides the various robots Annie had brought home with her. They left her alone, used to seeing her leave at odd hours. Annie and Nick were almost to the turn off that led to the vault when they were hailed by Preston.

“Annie!” he called, several steps away. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Annie said quickly, not one to typically share her problems. “I – “ She broke off, paused. “What are you doing up?”

“I was just… scouting,” he said, his voice tired. She wasn’t fooled.

“I guess I’m not alone in the nightmares, huh?” she said. Preston gave her a little half-grin.

“I guess not,” he replied. 

Annie had such a soft spot for this man, this incredibly sweet man who’d helped her make sense of everything after she’d escaped the vault. 

“Come with us,” she said, the sudden urge overcoming her to have him along, too. She needed Nick – surprised as she was that he was willing to come, she knew she couldn’t handle this without his steady presence – but Preston needed a friend, a distraction, and she found she wanted him there, too.

“Where are we going?” Preston asked, giving a friendly nod to Nick as well, falling into step beside them as Annie continued to lead the way toward Vault 111.

“The vault,” Annie answered, her voice stronger without a trace of tears at the thought. “Where my husband still lays. I want to bury him.”

“Oh,” Preston said quietly, and left it at that.

They walked in silence for a little while, Annie trying not to let herself get lost in memories. It would do her no good now, and she had something she needed to do. She should focus. Still, little things couldn’t help making their way into her mind.

“My neighbors,” Annie murmured as they passed a couple of bodies lying on the ground. “And I don’t even know who it is,” she lamented. 

“It’s strange,” Preston said. “I’ve seen the bodies before, but they’re so old… I never thought… “

“I suppose it’s stranger to think it should’ve only been a few months,” Annie commented.

“What was it like?” Preston asked, almost hesitant. “Was it like this? When you escaped to the vault?”

Nick made a noise of protest, but Annie just shook her head at him. No one had asked her before, and she found she didn’t mind sharing. Preston was hardly a gossip looking for a good story, after all.

“No,” Annie said, her voice so soft that Preston had to strain to hear. “It was… loud. Panicked. Everyone was running,” she added. “Nate was carrying Shaun. There were sirens… screaming.” She paused as they got close to the hill and the vault’s control box. “Vault-Tec,” she continued, spitting the name, “was ready and waiting for us. Everything streamlined. They told us to hurry.” 

As they crested the hill, she walked over to where the vault elevator had taken her down that fateful day, almost in a daze as she remembered. 

“We were here. They were in such a rush. So many didn’t make it. There,” she pointed into the distance, “there was a flash. The elevator went down just before it hit us.” She took a breath. “I suppose everyone still left outside was killed instantly. It was so close.”

Annie jumped at a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Preston, looking remorseful. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No,” Annie said, patting his hand. “Someone… should know.” She breathed in deeply, letting the clean air wash through her. “Right. So. I wonder how this thing works?” 

Annie headed toward the control room that was easily visible by the side of the vault, while Preston followed her. Nick went in the other direction, helping them look.

“Nothing,” Preston said, surveying the blown-out shack that had been a control room. “Nothing even intact to use.”

“You’re right,” Annie sighed. “There’s got to be a way, though. I got up here; there’s got to be a way back down.”

There was a sudden rumble beneath their feet, and Annie looked up, startled, as the elevator came to life.

“I found it,” Nick said, and Annie and Preston hurried over to the box Nick had found. “I bet if you push this button, the elevator will start.”

“Thanks, Nick,” Annie said gratefully. She hadn’t considered how she’d get back into the vault, and was glad to find it was possible after all. “Still want to do this?” she asked Preston. “You don’t have to come.”

“No, I want to,” Preston said. “I wouldn’t mind seeing the inside of a vault, and you know I’d like to help.”

“Alright. Let’s go,” Annie said, and nodded to Nick. She walked over to stand in the middle of the elevator with Preston while Nick pressed the button; he hurried over to join them and only needed a short step down to reach the platform. 

A short eternity later, they shuddered to a halt and gates opened in front of them. It was a surreal feeling; it was almost exactly like it had been the day the bombs fell, except there was no Nate or Shaun beside her. No friendly Vault-Tec employees greeting her, assuring her they’d be safe now. Just… emptiness.

“This way,” Annie said, aware that her voice was shaking slightly but knowing she had to push through. She would get this done.

Nick and Preston followed her quietly, and she didn’t take time to look back at them. She didn’t want to pause; she didn’t have anything here she wanted to remember. Her feet carried her through to the room she’d been frozen in, almost without her knowing; how they remembered for so long, she wasn’t sure.

“Here,” she said softly, approaching the end of the room where she knew Nate’s body was inside the sealed cryopod. “He’s…. here.” She stopped in front of the window, staring at him for the first time in months. He looked exactly the same; no rot had kicked in. Must be something in the pod, regardless of the malfunction, she thought. 

“Oh,” Nick said, standing at her shoulder. “Oh… I’m so sorry.” His voice was soft, and his touch gentle as he squeezed her shoulder in consolation. 

“I’m sorry,” Preston echoed. “Take all the time you need.” 

Annie let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t need any more time,” she said firmly. “I need to get him out of here… and bury him like he should be.”

“Of course,” Preston nodded.

Annie reached a trembling hand for the cryopod handle, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Dammit,” she muttered. “How - ?”

“Maybe the computer,” Nick suggested, going to stand at it and pressing a few keys. 

“Malfunction in cryopod manual release override,” a cool voice rang out through the vault, startling them all. 

“What does that mean?” Annie demanded of the voice. She watched Nick press a few more keys, and then the same thing happened. 

“Seems like it’s stuck,” Nick noted. 

“It can’t be stuck,” Annie snapped, panic rising in her. She wasn’t going to leave Nate down here! She had to get him out! She tugged at the handles again, pulling all her weight against them, but it didn’t move so much as a hair.

“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Preston pointed out. “This seems pretty solid.”

“Please,” Annie begged, frantic. “Please, can’t we open it? I have to open it!” She pulled hard, to no avail, until Nick gently removed her hands from the handle.

“Let me give it a try,” he said gently. 

Annie stood back and watched, breathing hard from exertion and fear, as Nick pulled at the handle, too. It didn’t seem to be doing much, but then – a creak. 

“You’re getting it!” Annie croaked. “Please, Nick – “

“I’ve got it,” Nick assured her, pulling harder. 

It took several minutes, and much more strength than any actual human would’ve been able to handle, but eventually, he managed to open the pod’s door a crack. Seeing the opportunity, Annie leapt forward to put her hands in the crack and try to pry the door open; Preston immediately came to help her, and finally, all three managed to pull the door to the point where it sprang open on its own. 

“Thank you,” Annie said, nearly crying in her relief. She and Preston stood panting for breath, while Nick was unfazed. 

“So he was shot,” Preston said, staring at the body.

“Because he wouldn’t give up Shaun,” Annie said, uncaring of the tears in her eyes now. She stepped back toward her husband’s body, touching his arm. It was cold, unfamiliar. “He tried to protect our son.”

“He sounds like a good man,” Preston offered.

“The best,” Annie agreed. 

She tried to lift the body up, but Nate was always larger than her; despite the strength she’d gained over the last few months, she’d never be able to carry him.

“I can give that a shot,” Nick said, stepping forward and easily lifting the man’s body. “You ready to go?”

“Yes,” Annie said immediately. “I never want to come back here. Let’s go.”

They proceeded back out of the vault, Nick carrying Nate’s body without a word of protest, arriving at the top of the hill in the elevator again.

“Where do you want to bury him?” Nick asked as they began the walk down the dirt path. The sun was just barely starting to lighten the sky.

“At the house,” she said softly. “He should’ve been… it doesn’t matter,” she reminded herself, shaking her head. “I want him at the house. Please.”

“I’ll grab some of the shovels we’ve got at the Den,” Preston said, referring to the large communal home Annie had helped make for the residents of Sanctuary. He headed off at a trot to get them.

Nick and Annie walked in silence, heading for her house. 

“Thanks for carrying him,” Annie said eventually.

“Of course,” Nick answered, leaving her to her thoughts after that.

Preston met them at the house with the promised shovels, and Annie led them to the back yard. Nick set the body down near the area Annie indicated for a grave, then took a shovel and started to dig with the other two. It didn’t take too long before it was a proper grave, and Nick set the body in it as gently as he could manage.

“Would you like to say a few words?” Preston asked uncertainly.

“A few words,” Annie repeated with a hollow laugh. “That’s what they always say, isn’t it? How can a few words sum up a life?” She shook her head, staring down at the body. “You deserved better, my love,” she murmured. “And I promise… I will find our son.” 

She glanced down at her left hand, holding both her wedding ring and Nate’s, and contemplated burying his with him… but she’d become so accustomed to wearing it all these months that she couldn’t bear the thought. 

“I think... I’m good,” Annie said, sniffling and trying not to show it. 

She reached for a shovel, scooped up some of the dirt they’d thrown to the side, and dumped it onto the body. Her stomach clenched as the dirt fell onto her husband’s face, and she couldn’t help the sob that escaped her at the sight.

“Annie?” Nick said, using the gentle voice he used with her earlier. “Do you want us to take care of this?”

“No,” Annie choked defensively. “No. I… I have to do this. I have to… see it.”

“Can we help?” Preston asked kindly. 

Unable to speak, Annie just nodded. Neither Preston nor Nick commented as she continued to cry throughout the rest of the process; they just helped as they could until the grave was filled in and a soft mound of dirt lay on top. 

Annie hadn’t heard Dogmeat come out, and she wasn’t sure when he appeared, but after the three of them backed away, he promptly walked over to the mound and laid down on top of it.

“Dogmeat!” Preston scolded, and Dogmeat whined.

“No, it’s okay,” Annie said thickly, wiping at her face and feeling dirt scratch it. “Nate… wouldn’t mind.”

“Alright,” Preston said, then yawned. “Annie – are you gonna be okay?”

“Yes,” she replied, as firmly as she could through her tears. She knew it was true; it still hurt, it hurt so much, but she felt the closure she needed. She knew she’d done what was right, and she knew she’d feel better about it.

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything, but I’m going to bed,” Preston said with another yawn. 

“Of course,” Annie sniffled. “Thank you so much, Preston.” 

She looked up as he walked away and saw it had gotten even lighter out, the sun continuing to rise, just like it always had. Life moved on. The others would surely be waking up soon.

“Here,” Nick said, and Annie jumped; it had been quiet after Preston left, and she hadn’t heard Nick even leave. He handed her Nate’s plaque.

“How did you know?” she asked, bewildered. She’d found Nate’s military achievement plaque half-buried outside the kitchen after she’d come back to the house and she’d done her best to clean it up, putting it in the bedroom.

“It does have his name on it,” Nick teased, and despite herself, Annie gave a short laugh.

“It’s a perfect idea, Nick, thank you,” Annie murmured, placing the plaque at the head of the grave like a stone would be. Dogmeat seemed pleased, and shortly after wandered off to sniff things. 

Annie stood looking at it for a long time, the sun rising and morning beginning around her. Eventually, Nick put a hand on her arm.

“You should probably try to get some more sleep,” he suggested. “You didn’t get much last night.”

“Right,” Annie sighed, her throat raw from crying but the tears having dried. No one had come to bother her yet. With one last glance at the grave, she deliberately turned away, her back straight as she headed back into the house.

“You okay?” Nick asked in his gentle voice again as he followed her into her bedroom. She saw Dogmeat was settled on the rug again. 

“No,” Annie admitted quietly. “But… I will be.” She let out another big sigh. “Thank you, Nick. I can’t tell you how much… it means a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” Nick said, uncharacteristically serious. He squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll keep an ear out for you, alright?”

“You don’t have to wait around here,” Annie said, shaking her head. “I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t suppose I have to do much of any of this,” Nick smirked. “I care about you.” 

Annie stared at him for a moment; he’d never said anything quite like that before, though he showed it often. 

“Something in my teeth?” Nick asked, and she swore he sounded self-conscious. She laughed a little again.

“Always making me laugh,” she murmured, stepping closer to him. She paused, her eyes still on his. “Nick…” 

He didn’t say anything, and neither did she; both seemed a little unsure of what was happening. Slowly, hesitantly, Annie moved closer to Nick; he didn’t move away. Finally, she pressed her lips to his in the softest of kisses.

His lips were warmer than she expected, and quite soft. It was so easy to forget he wasn’t human.

Nick put his arms around her, holding her close and pulling her head toward his with his humanlike hand, kissing her back.

After a moment, Annie pulled away, her cheeks reddening. 

“I – I’m sorry, Nick, I don’t – “

“Don’t apologize,” Nick said, his voice almost hoarse. “You don’t need – I don’t want you to apologize.”

Annie gave him a small, unsure smile.

“I care about you, too, you know,” she murmured. “You’ve been there for me so often… you mean so much to me.”

“Good,” Nick said, a somewhat lopsided smile on his own face. “Then we’re on the same page.” 

Annie yawned, unable to stop the sudden movement, and Nick chuckled.

“You really ought to get some sleep now,” he said, pushing her gently toward the bed. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

Annie got into bed, curling up and realizing just how sleepy she was. She was sure she’d be asleep in seconds.

“I know you will,” she breathed, the tiniest smile curving her lips.


End file.
